Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
