Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
