FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
