We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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