You really coming over, don't trick.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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