Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how can u be prego again
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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