Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
