now i know why i became what i already was.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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