Your face is a jimmy john
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
