Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
