I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
