I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize