The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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