Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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