If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
