She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
