so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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