on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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