i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Will exercising make me less horny?
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