My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
