Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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