dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
