Can Purell be used as lube?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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