i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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