your parents love me but you hate me
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
