You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
