the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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