Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
