It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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