I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
we should paint friendship bongs
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