Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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