I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
