If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
