make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
