where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
