people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
