You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
