i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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