I showed him my bush... on skype.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
