Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
