not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
