Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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