I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
