Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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