He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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