Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
