i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
