i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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