I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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