meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
