Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
