I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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