He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
