i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
