google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
