At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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