Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
