I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
