Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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