those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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