We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
