Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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