You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
