so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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