Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
