there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
