were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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