so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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