how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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