We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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