This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
