our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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