real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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